So, a man was sat on a log in a wood, a dark wood in Scotland. “Why am I in a wood?” thought this chap, “Why am I in a wood sitting and thinking about things that don’t add up to much?” Jim couldn’t think of anything at all, such was his mind so stuck in a loop, always asking stupid things without any solution.
Without warning, a rabbit was in front of him.”Good morning to you, Sir” said this rabbit, “I am Jason Rabbit and I am a magic rabbit”. Jim, this Scottish guy, didn’t know what to say at first and just sat staring at this amazing talking Jason Rabbit.
“I can do magic things” said Jason, by way of making it obvious. “Oh!” said Jim, “That’s good! I’m sat in a dark wood in Scotland and this is a talking rabbit! Now I’m crazy on top of it all!”
“No, that’s not how it is!” said this magic bunny furiously. “I’m a magic rabbit and I can do amazing things for you if you wish it so. It’s not you that’s crazy.” Jim sat and thought about good things to wish for, not caring if this was an hallucination or not. “Okay” said our Scottish man finally, “I’d want a glass of whisky first so that I can think a bit.” “Good!” said Jason, “What kind of whisky do you want?” At last Jim had a fantastic and cunning thought.
“Pour a bit of magic whisky into my cup. I want a magic whisky that allows a chap to think fantastic thoughts and that grants him an ability to do good for all living things.”
“That’s a fantastic wish!” said Jason Rabbit filling a glass with magic fluid, “You know a thing or two about wisdom and compassion without any tricks. What can magic whisky do for you anyway?”
“I don’t know, my poor rabbit pal” said Jim, “but I am hungry and thirsty so I cannot wait. I would wish for food to go with my whisky but i’m not so smart as all that so I’m afraid I’ll do a rabbit sandwich if I can catch you and you don’t fight back too much.”
With a sigh and a shrug and lying down on a log, Jason Rabbit didn’t fight at all. And so our infamous Scotsman had his sandwich without any fuss, turning this poor magic rabbit into a snack as if it was nothing.
Without warning, though, a rush of guilt sprang up and got him by the throat. “Oh my god! I’m such an idiot!” said Jim, “Why didn’t I drink my bloody whisky first?” So down his throat a gulp of whisky did slosh. “Oh!” said Jim, anticipating nirvana. In his situation, what would you do?
